I secretly wanted a boy that was proposing to his girlfriend to get turned down. I told people (by people, I mean Mitch and Ariel) that I wanted her to say yes and for them to live happily ever after. That was a lie. I wanted her to say no and for said boy and I to have hot cheer-up sex.
God is angry at me for secretly wanting this. I am sure of it. Why, you ask. Well, since then the only guy that has shown the least bit of interest in me… meaning asked me to meet him for dinner… is married and has a child. I know this is old and overused… but… fml.
There are other little signs too. But that’s the big flashing sign.
My mom is going back to Vanderbilt. I don’t really know why. I think she’s ok. She kept saying she was going to be ok. It sounded like she was trying to convince herself. I really don’t think I can deal with this right now.
I can’t stress the truth of that statement enough. I admit this could have a bit to do with the massive amounts of nyquil I have ingested lately, but I don’t think that is solely responsible. Boy with girlfriend flirts, but I really do think I’m moving on, FINALLY. Classes are not overwhelming me, which is a first this semester. I am kind of actually making friends with other girls. I am pretty sure a so-called straight feminist that doesn’t shave hit on me one night. I am without tumblr most of the time. Some internet friends are getting more and more intriguing (or annoying depending on my mood). I have totally befriended the really republican dude on my staff. Actually, republican is an understatement… he idolizes Glen Beck. I’m smoking again.
Some things are weird in their normalness. The fact that my mom and I kind of argued on the phone tonight, for example.
Right now I am supposed to be writing a bioethics paper, but instead am listening to Spice Girls and talking to said republican boy on facebook.
I mean really, I was having a good day. One of those happy for no reason days. Those are rare for me. But then I have to spend ten minutes waiting on on a computer in the commons because some dumb girl is looking at a hint thing for professor Layton and the curious village. I mean fuck, this is a college, not a public library.