All of the nine million things I have felt over the past nine days are catching up with me. The exahustion, the fear, the sadness, the crazyness, the happiness, and a billion other things are all catching up with me. So many major things have happened and I have not really dealt with them. I have compatmentalized them and not dealtwith them because I had to not be an emotional wreck. I think I did pretty good. Holding it together is getting much harder though. I’m going home tomorrow because I have to get redy for school and job training. I don’t want to leave mom, but I definitely want to be home.
Which means I am wearing a pair of the ugliest pants in history. Seriously. They are disgusting. But at least they are clean. I’m thankful, even though the very style counscious part of me is protesting.
I have totally been making myself pretty whenever I go see my mom for the first time in visiting hours just in case it’s the pretty nurse boy. He probably won’t be there for a while, and hopefully she won’t be here much longer.
It consists of me being married to a totally adorable doctor. Okay, maybe that’s wishful thinking. But it would be nice.
Seriously though, I’m totally possibly into nurse boy that was from my hometown. But I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again. Plus, is it appropriate to flirt with a man that is caring for your sick mom?
She has a lot of fluid in her lungs and was strugguling to breath. They had to turn her oxygen up all the way. She’s definitely not coming off the venilator anytime soon. She also got pnumonia, however you spell that.
I’m so worried about her. I’m ready for her to be awake and breathing on her on.
Seriously, I never realized how much I need her until I almost lost her.
Mom is more stable but she is still not awake or breathing on her own. I’m optimistic though. I have learned a lot about the medical field.
The nurse that was with her in SICU tonight is originally from my hometown. We went to the same church for a while even. He’s nice. He also told me how to get internet which made me want hug him. Or something.
I can read all of mom’s vitals now. It makes me feel a bit more in control. The next visiting time is in four hours.
I miss sleeping in a bed and real showers. I found a place I can shower tonight though. Honestly, the bathroom sink just doesn’t cut it. I’m currently disgusting.
I am disappointed in you. Words can’t express how much. You used to be so entertaining and amusing. Not so much anymore.
You have replaced your funny people like Frangry, Michael Ian Black, and so many others with people like Julia Allison. I have refrained from bashing JA on tumblr because it seemed pointless but she’s not funny enough to be on an actual show.
You no longer have interesting countdowns and funny social commentary. Now you have Daisy of Love and Brooke Knows Best. You have failed. Our love affair is over. You are now on the same level as MTV.