Breanna Blogs

This is going to make me sound really fucking ridiculous and just pretty terrible. But whatev. It’s true.

I have never once tried to get something and not actually got it (A very smart person pointed out that this probably just means I underachieve… which is probably really fucking true). Usually, when I run for an office or apply for a job, I get it. I don’t know how to deal with rejection because I have never had to. I have always got exactly what I wanted.

Tonight I didn’t. I lost out on a position I really wanted in a group that I really care about it. I am trying really hard to deal with it, but I am really not doing so great. It doesn’t help that I completely dislike the guy that I lost to. I swear I am not just saying that, I dislike him well before today. He has rubbed me the wrong way since I met him and I just am not thrilled about the idea of him representing me.

I guess it’s good that I am learning to deal with rejection now instead of later.

Also, the bitch in me is looking forward to the ‘I told you so’ part when he doesn’t do his job.

bricorama:

what’s so bad about being single.

Maybe this is selfish, but I feel like most of the people I know who are seeking relationships are doing so to make themselves feel better, to fill some sort of void.

I’ve never had a real boyfriend, I date a guy who was a dick and cheated on me and yes, I get lonely. Incredibly lonely. Yes, I get crushes on guys for the stupidest reasons (like the cute kid in my video production class made a music video for white and nerd, in which he was nerd. And let me tell you, NERDS DO NOT LOOK LIKE THAT. IT’S BLOWING MY MIND) and I know love doesn’t just fall out of the air, it takes a lot of work.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I still haven’t found anyone who is worth the work. 

I felt like this for so long.

I think this is a good mind set to have. And ultimately, your relationships will be better as a result of it.

Please please please go away.

You can come again on a warmer day.

But right now, it is just too cold for me to deal with you.

It’s strange. She was just 18.

They think it was of a natural cause.Apparently, she had a seizure condition.

No one knows very much and a lot of people are just kind of in shock. 18 year olds are not supposed to die.

I needed this weekend. For the sake of my relationship, I needed this weekend.

It’s so hard being so far apart sometimes, especially when I am stressed and I don’t feel like he cares, but then I spend time with him. I laugh with him. I talk with him. I watch him interact with other people. And I realize just how completely worth it he is.

I have one more week of classes left. Then finals and a ton of job related things to do. I can survive. I can.

I need summer vacation. Even though since I am working over the summer, it is basically going to be the same with no classes.

That’s just a general first impression.

I didn’t realize how much seeing him with his mom would make me miss my mom.

I am ridiculously nervous. What if she hates me? AHHH! Why are other people’s parents so scary?

Got any advice?

I hate that I am about to admit this, but I LOVE THIS MOVIE!

I cry every single time. Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis. Sigh.