Somedays, I really like silly things about myself.
That is probably the weirdest title ever, but I don’t really know how to put it.
Today is warm and pretty. I was wearing a tank top and a cardigan earlier but it is warm in my apartment so I took off the cardigan and then I caught a glimpse of my tattoo in the mirror. I don’t think about it often but that little glimpse of it made me happy in ways that I can’t exactly communicate to other people.
My hair is on the top of my head in a messy bun (again, my apartment is super warm right now) and that is pretty normal but today no pieces are falling down and my hair feels extra soft.
It’s the small things people. That is what counts for good days.
D and I met online probably in December of 2009, but we didn’t really start talking until early January. Mom was sick and I was spending an awful lot of time sitting in the hospital with nothing to do. D constantly made himself available to me, and the more time I spent talking to him, the more time I wanted to spend talking to him. This boy, who at first I had been convinced was super creepy, grew on me. We started talking on the phone for hours a day. It was intoxicating. We officially started dating on January 28, at like 3 or 4 in the morning. I was laying on a couch in a hospital room whispering over the phone. It was strange, we had not even met in person but we were both so into each other that the thought of being with someone else was revolting.
I met him for the first time on February 19. He knocked on my apartment door, we shared a chaste kiss, and then, I took him to class with me. It was so awkward and strange meeting someone you knew so much for the first time. Sitting in class with him beside me was awkward, but as soon as we were able to talk and touch, it was like he had always been sitting across from me. The weekend progressed quickly.
On March 5, I got on an airplane and flew by myself for the first time ever. I spent 9 days in LA with D and the god awful roommate he had at the time. We went to the beach and the Getty and so many other places. It was fun.
In April, I spent a weekend in Nashville with D and his parents. Meeting his mom made me so nervous but she was so nice. In May, we both worked and talked and stressed over things. In June, D was back in Nashville for his family reunion and I joined him. It was strange, but fun. I had a huge meltdown that weekend just from the overwhelming emotions of everything. I had a lot of those, understandably, I think.
In July, I spent a week in LA. Our relationship was on pretty rocky ground at that point, mainly as a result of the distance. We went to a concert at the Hollywood Bowl. We saw The Bird and the Bee, She and Him, and The Swell Season. It was a fun visit, but I left with a mostly sad feeling.
I returned to Tennessee and threw myself into work. On August 8, after returning from a training camp, D and I broke up. He said the words. I expected them. I was mostly ok over the next few weeks. I met another wonderful guy. I tried to move on, but it was more difficult than I expected.
Around the beginning of September, D and I were starting to talk again. I really meant for us to be just friends. I even gave him dating advice. I couldn’t deny the feelings that I still had for him though, and so I broke up with the other guy. D and I planned a trip to see each other, to see how it worked together. We went to New York in late September and it was one of the best trips ever. We saw broadway plays, took walks in central park, and spent time with old friends of his.
We got back together fairly quickly after that trip. And in October I took D. to his first real college football game (which we lost spectacularly, but it was fun regardless) and made him watch scary movies with me all weekend.
We spent a long time apart after that October visit though. It was really hard on both of us, but with frequent phone calls and skype dates and some major doubts on my part, we got through it.
On December 23, D met my family for the first time, and then I spent Christmas with lots of parts of his family. It was so nice to be with him and to feel like I belonged somewhere on my first Christmas without my mom.
After Christmas, I went back to LA with D to spend the remainder of my break. I got sick and spent most of my time there making him take care of me. He didn’t seem to mind too much. He took me to the zoo! It was my first time ever going.
Two weeks later, D was on his way to spend my 21st birthday with me. He was so sweet. I got really drunk (because people just kept giving me drinks!) and he made sure to take extra good care of my camera and always to have my bag with him. It was adorable. He didn’t even hate me when the drunkenness made me overly emotional.
(this picture is terrible, but look at how freaking happy he makes me. definitely a keeper.)
Now he is back in LA. And I am sitting in my crappy Knoxville apartment. Even though the distance gets crazy difficult, I wouldn’t choose anything else. I love him with every little piece of my heart, even when he does work too much or get all nerdy over random technical things that I don’t understand. I’m making plans to move to be with him, even though that’s one of those things I never really thought I would do. He makes me happy and calms me down and keeps me sane when everything else is failing to do so.
Even though we broke up briefly, it’s been a wonderful year.
There are times when I hate being in my relationship, specifically because it is long distance. Tonight is one of those. I went and had margaritas with some friends and then, even thought they wanted to hang out more and i don’t have class tomorrow, I chose to come home and spend time talking to D, partially because when i am drunk i get flirty and affectionate. Only he didn’t tell me he had other plans. So now I am sitting alone in my apartment while drunk and it’s just fucking depressing.
These are the times I doubt the choices I make that put this relationship before other things.
My boyfriend went out with his friend. Unknowingly, he was going to a girls birthday party who last year (around this same time… we had just started dating) tried to kiss him, and who his best friend encouraged him to sleep with. Yeah, he’s a really great friend.
“Today marks the 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that protects women’s health and reproductive freedom, and affirms a fundamental principle: that government should not intrude on private family matters. I am committed to protecting this constitutional right. I also remain committed to policies, initiatives, and programs that help prevent unintended pregnancies, support pregnant women and mothers, encourage healthy relationships, and promote adoption. And on this anniversary, I hope that we will recommit ourselves more broadly to ensuring that our daughters have the same rights, the same freedoms, and the same opportunities as our sons to fulfill their dreams.”—President Obama’s statement on Roe v. Wade (via coketalk)
Frances Fox Piven is a distinguished professor of political science and sociology at the Graduate Center of the City University of New York.
At 78, she has taught several generations of students about how and why poor people don’t get a fair shake in the United States and how to increase their organizational power and encourage voter registration.
[Beck] accused her of being “an enemy of the Constitution” and an advocate of “violent revolution” and has listed her as one of the nine most dangerous people in the world.
Since he started to air these attacks, Piven has begun receiving death threats.
This is why anyone who explains Glenn Beck away as an “act” should stop doing so. People — his viewers — take him very seriously. What he considers “comedy” or variation thereof isn’t: it’s a call to action.
i want a rocket shot into space and i want it to release hundreds of tiny satellites into the sky that look like stars. and i want these satellites to go into formation to spell out “joseph birdsong, i choose you” (b/c satellites look like stars from the earth and i also want it to say my last…
This is getting to be a nightly thing and it is so annoying. I need to finish my spanish homework (ugh… and don’t even get me started on how stupid it is that the stupid Spanishlab thing ONLY will let me use Safari).
And yay, it’s snowing out (this is sarcasm). Ok, typically, I am all about snow. I rejoice in it’s lovely fluffiness. But the weather has been doing this whole almost 60 one day, snowing the next thing so frequently that my body has turned on me. And all snow means for me now is that I am still in this stupid city and that I still have to walk around and freeze.
For every 5 reblogs that this gets, I will donate $1 to the victims of the Pakistan floods from this summer and the victims of the earthquake also in Pakistan.
So, I really hate things like this. First of all, I doubt the person behind the post will actually do what is said, but I guess that is just because in general I do not trust humanity. Secondly, you should be charitable all the time, not just when you want some post on tumblr to get a lot of notes. Charitable people do not boast about it or broadcast it. I guess I just feel like if you can afford to donate to any cause you SHOULD because it’s right and not because a lot of people reblogged some tumblr post.
I kind of feel like I wasn’t really ready for college when I started. I am not sure that makes sense. I don’t regret the choice I made at all. I don’t even dislike it here, really. I just think I might have benefited from taking some time off. I have no idea what it is that I want to do and I am slowly, soul-crushingly working my way towards a degree that is basically pointless (no really… i’m an english major).
I think it might be beneficial to take a year off and work, maybe establish residency somewhere else. I think I need a goal to work towards besides just an end. I am not very motivated when I am just waiting for it to end so I don’t do my best work AT ALL.
But then again, I am in debt because of school. I am comfortable here. I have a routine and a pretty nice lifestyle that, in general, I really like.
I’m not going to pretend that D does not also factor into this. Saying goodbye all the fucking time kills me. It never gets any easier no matter how many times I do it. We are not perfect but I love him and it would be nice to get to see him without having to save every extra cent that I have or spending 10 hours flying across the country on a crowded, smelly plane.
I feel as if I graduated with an english degree, I would be looking at and applying for the same type of jobs that I am looking at and thinking bout possibly applying for now. Maybe if I work for a while, I will have a better idea of what it is I actually want.
I kind of just want to start asking everyone I know if they think leaving college now (or even at the end of this semester) would be the worst decision ever or what. (Mostly because I think my reaction to their answers would answer the question for me)