I feel like my blog has been quiet because I feel like the things I am doing right now are not interesting enough to other people. I never used to have that problem. I thought EVERYTHING I thought was interesting to everyone at a point.
That being said, I am going to make a more conscious effort to post about what is going on. To be honest it will probably consist of: cooking, thinking about wedding planning, an evil but adorable kitten, and looking for a job.
I used to tell my best friend that I wasn’t going to get married until gay marriage was legal in every state. There is a tiny part of me that still holds onto that.
I don’t believe in God, at least not in the Christian sense. Marriage isn’t a religiously necessary act, and I don’t feel like not being married makes the relationship I have with D. any less legitimate.
That said, I know that he is the person that I want to wake up next to everyday for the rest of my life. Even when we argue and he is driving me crazy, I want him to be there. He is my family. He is my best friend. I love him and he makes me happy every single day.
Since way before D. even proposed, I have struggled to deal with marriage on my terms. I have struggled to figure out what it means to me and what is important to me.
It’s important to me to make sure that people understand that I still think that the institution of marriage is imperfect. It’s important for me to keep my independence, to not bend to the will of others. The feminist in me will not agree to bend to the preconceived notion of what an engaged/married lady is supposed to be.
With that in mind, I knew from the beginning I did not want to married by a preacher. I didn’t want to have to worry about someone I did not know talking about religion and how it will apply to my marriage. I suggested to D. that we look into having someone ordained, someone that is trustworthy and that knows us. He agreed and we started throwing out names.
Yesterday, we finally found the perfect person to officiate our wedding (which is not until fall of 2012… we are planning early). D.’s high school drama teacher and good friend will be officiating. I couldn’t be happier with the choice. This is a man that I respect and have liked from the very first time we met.
I am so looking forward to standing in front of the people that I care most about and pledging my life to the man that I love. I am even more excited about doing it under the guidance of someone that knows us and has seen us progress as a couple, someone who will honor our wishes as a couple.
For some reason, having this step be done makes the fact that I am getting married feel much more real that the ring on my finger does.
I don’t like feeling helpless, feeling dependent on someone else. D. tries his hardest not to make me feel like I am a burden or anything like that, but I still do sometimes. It sucks to not be able to buy something I really want without asking him about it first. It sucks not getting to interact with a bunch of people every day. I am used to being surrounded by work. I lived where I worked so there was no such thing as escaping it, and I didn’t want to. I like feeling needed and being independent.
I need to be able to support myself, especially right now when there are so many expensive things to deal with. Weddings are expensive. Moving into a new apartment is expensive. All the things are expensive.
We spent the day looking for apartments. Speaking of, if anybody knows someone that is looking to share a 2 bedroom apartment in the Burbank/North Hollywood/Studio City area come July, let me know. Sharing an apartment really makes living here so much more affordable, even though D. and I will be sad to give up the privacy. Plus, I like people.
Now, we are home, and D. is making chili for dinner. Yum. I’m sitting on the couch reading a magazine.
I bought my first wedding magazine today. It’s the Martha Stewart DIY issue.
Sometimes, I don’t believe this is really my life.
Florence and the Machine was spectacular last night!
She has such a powerful voice and she is so in control of it. It’s almost shocking to me to hear her big singing voice and then her soft, very British speaking voice. She has a really theatrical stage presence too. I adored it.
I hate people that bring small children to the late showing of movies that are definitely NOT intended for children! Like a, the fact that your kid won’t shut up irritates other people, and b, your child is too young for this movie. Gah. People are stupid.
The good news, however, is that X-Men: The Last Stand is a pretty good movie, if you are hugely into the other X-Men movie, this one is definitely worth your time.
D. had never really watched any of the franchise so over the last two weeks we managed to record and watch all of them. That meant that everything was fresh when we went and saw the newest installment last night. It was nice. I felt kind of cool because I was picking up on all the little hints I might have missed otherwise.
Besides the very talkative six year old, it was a pretty good night. The theater was kind of run down but that just made for cheaper tickets for us, so I can deal.
D and I are driving up the coast tomorrow to visit his mom. She is in California for a painting thing and it will be fun little trip for us. Moving in together is a little stressful and learning to manage our finances together is stressful and having a new kitten is stressful. We both need this little mini-vacation I think.
I’m really excited. The drive will be amazing and I love spending time with D just doing nothing. Plus, I have made him promise to indulge all my little “I want to see that shiny thing over there” whims. Ha.
However, our little trip (we are leaving super early tomorrow morning and getting back late Sunday) means that we have to kitten proof the apartment. Memphis is crazy good at getting in to things. A friend is stopping by to check on him, but we still want to do everything we can to guarantee we have a mostly in order home to come back to.